(This is the original conclusion of the 1st Edition of my book, Caring for Kait. For the 2nd Edition, I changed this final chapter.)

Sometimes, an angel descends from the heavens and forges for us a new path through the darkness.  And though that path may not be entirely devoid of challenges or hardship, it ultimately leads to the sun.

Sometimes, an angel falls from the skies and challenges us to be transcendent.  She inspires us to be more than who we thought we could be.  To reach beyond our perceived limits and redefine ourselves and what it means to breathe life on this earth.  To break free from complacency and artificial constraints.  To gain the courage to detach from everything we’ve been led to believe as truth, assess its validity through a microscope, and be willing to stand up and face adversity and ridicule for the sake of morality. 

For the most part, those angels remain hidden from our view, silently watching over and guiding us through our day-to-day encounters.  But every now and then, one removes her heavenly cloak and reveals herself to the world.  Every now and then one blesses us with her visible presence and spreads her unconditional love to everyone she meets. 

I was one of the blessed.  Kaitlyn so graciously revealed herself to the world and instilled in me wonderful new values.  She taught me what life is truly all about.  She taught me what it means to love.  What it means to be selfless and make sacrifices.  And when I had fallen deep into that shadowy abyss, my angel illuminated a bright new path for me and helped me emerge from the darkness.  My angel helped me regain my vision – both in life and death. 

As recompense, I see only one way I can properly express my infinite gratitude toward her, and that’s through striving to be the best person I can be at all times.  To practice altruism as best I can from now and for as long as I live.  It seems the least I can do for all the gifts she bestowed upon me.  Unfortunately, I am no angel.  I am human with my infinite flaws.  I am corruptible.  I may be a hypocrite at times.  I may contradict myself.  I may even encounter spates of exhaustion and lethargy.  I may grow irritable and lash out every now and then.  That’s all a part of the human experience.  And a part of being human is making mistakes, but then learning and growing from those mistakes.  There will be times where I will temporarily lose my sight and stumble off the trail, but with Kaitlyn’s guiding spirit always by my side and her love forever in my heart, she will direct me back to the righteous path.

I miss Kait so much.  Not a day will go by where the cavernous void in my life won’t be strongly felt.  Not a day will go by where I’m not haunted by her undeserved suffering.  Though it’s difficult to brush those images of heartbreak and trauma from my mind, I have to try.  I can’t allow the few painful moments steal the thunder from the overwhelming number of positive ones.  We made every single day count.  In our short time together, we created enough beautiful memories to extend through multiple lifetimes.  It’s important I don’t forget to focus on those moments of immense, unconditional love and laughter, because they were abundant.  They can and will always put a smile on my face. 

My life with Kait truly was a blessing..    

From here and for as long as I live, everything I do, I do with you in heart and mind! Kaitlyn Julia, I will love you always, always, always!